


Bring it, Bishop

by CaptainAwesomest



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:07:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6638803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAwesomest/pseuds/CaptainAwesomest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy Shepherd and Kate Bishop have been dating for a bit recently, which has been great, except Tommy keeps giving her wedgies. Fortunately for Kate, she's managed to pick up a few things and can now get him back, so when he tries it while they're 'on the job', a war starts between the two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"See anything?" 

Simple question, but not really a simple answer. With a glance around, the only thing that springs out is how...underwhelming the surroundings are.

Right now, Kate Bishop finds herself looking around, trying to find any sign that their opposites, the Young Masters, have been in this building. They were sent to investigate a sighting of the team in this location, but right now, the purple-leather clad, raven-haired archer known as Hawkeye isn't finding any luck.

She shakes her head as she turns to Tommy Shepherd, the silver-haired, green-clad speedster, with whom she was investigating this floor. They were in a high-rise, and so far they've found nothing. Tommy checked ahead for anyone inside, so right now, they just need proof that they've been here. So far, they've not spotted anything; besides a few odd cans of beer and a general mess, nothing indicates anyone, especially villainous young adults, had lived here.

"We should keep looking, make sure we don't miss anything." Kate responds, earning a sigh from Tommy. She can tell he's bored, and to be honest, she's bored by that idea as well, but duty calls; as leader of the team, they have to get to work, and she has to make sure they do.

So, Tommy gets to work looking around as they move on to the next room, stretching in boredom from the rather dull task. On the plus side, he gets to do this with Kate, his tight pantsed girlfriend, so there's that.

"Hey, looky, at least we know they need to sleep." Tommy muses, pointing at a bed in the room, then zooming off towards a TV and game console opposite. "And they play video games, we know that much."

"So, they really are people afterall." Kate jokes along, smiling back as she takes a look at a desk by the side, looking over some computer equipment, while Tommy returns to the bed, picking something up.

"Hey, someone had fun at least." Tommy adds, holding up a light green lace thong left on the bed, making Kate awkwardly blush and laugh, before kneeling down to look under the desk.

"And I found a gun. So, if its anyone on the New Masters, its a girl with guns." Kate responds, pulling a gun out of its hiding spot and placing it on the floor, removing the clip and emptying it first for safety.

"Well, it could be that Executioner guy, maybe he had a girlfriend?" Tommy suggests, making a disgusted expression develop on Kate's face.

"Gross."

"Or, maybe it's his thong? Never know." Tommy adds, keeping Kate's expression, but at least making her laugh. Joking aside, Tommy and Kate return to their search, but Tommy takes a second to glance at Kate's behind with her back turned to him, spotting the rather visible waistband peeping out of her purple pants, earning a playful grin on his face.

As Kate constantly wears leather pants, and leather has a bad tendency to stretch out when worn excessively, and is too expensive for her to buy new pairs since she was cut off by her dad, she's developed a problem keeping her pants on her waist level, resulting in frequent sagging and underwear exposure. And, due to Tommy's playful nature, he loves seeing the underwear peeping out, just asking for a wedgie.

He's obviously not the only one, given how common wedgies have became for superheroes and heroines to endure, from both teammates and villains alike, with her stories of Clint Barton and his frequent pranks on her during their training, as well as her friendly rivalry and constant wedgie war with Carmilla Black, and now her arch-enemy Madame Masque and her bounty on her, but he's probably the most frequent to give them a tug.

Right now he looks at the underwear, grinning at the obvious opportunity. This pair in particular look rather cute; a new pair of white bikini panties with a thick purple waistband, decorated with purple targets of varying sizes scattered around. The colour of them stands out more that Kate's usual underwear, which are usually purple to match her uniform, but this one is so visible its practically asking for attention.

Not one for stealth, Tommy heads over to Kate as she starts to kneel back up from under the desk, while he reaches down to grab them. However, before he can touch them, she turns around, grabbing his wrist and twisting him around, pinning him on the desk.

"Owe! Hey! Kate!" Tommy protests, cringing as he struggles to get out. He has a slight strength advantage due to being a few inches taller, but Kate's a better fighter and knows how to pin someone, so like this, she has him trapped.

"I knew you'd try that. You've gotten way too predictable Tommy." Kate taunts, keeping her boyfriend like that, before looking down. Though Tommy's suit looks like a solid one-piece, its top is removable and, like this, its risen up enough for Kate to see his own lower back.   
Though he gives her far more than she gives him, she's recently taken to getting him back more and, through 'training' with the vigilante spy known as Scorpion (and by training, I of course mean 'trading wedgies whenever the two meet'), she's gotten better at doing it. So, while Tommy's stuck, Kate waists little time getting him back for his attempt.

"Now, let's see what you're wearing, Mr 'I wear spandex so my pants don't ride down'." Kate adds, reaching inside his pants. Tommy wiggles around as the small, cold hands slip into his waistband, before she tugs out a stretchy green material, adorned with little yellow lightning bolts, making her burst into laughter. "Seriously Tommy? And you tease me over my underwear choices? You're totally wearing briefs!"

"Hey! Boxers chafe under tights, OK!" Tommy protests, yelping as she pulls up on his briefs, making her laugh and continue to do it. "OK! OK! You win! Let me go before someone sees!"

Kate briefly contemplates doing it until someone walks in, if just to get back on the many times he's done so to her in front of people, but decides against it; he's learnt his lesson and he'll end it here, right?

So, she lets the material snap back, giving him a slap on the backside as he does to her whenever he gives her one, then skips off to the next room to let him fix himself. "Be glad I'm merciful, now hurry up."

In the next room, Kate takes a moment to glance around as she waits for Tommy, finding herself in a mostly empty room, full of nothing but a few boxes and pieces of trash scattered around. Nothing sticks out to her, but she decides to check to make sure, walking over to the boxes and leaning over to try and check behind them, standing on her toes to get a better view.

As she does so, Tommy walks into the room, spotting her once more in a wedgying position. Appearing more distracted this time, Tommy decides to get revenge, though makes note to move quietly, and actually use his super-speed to limit her chance to react. Instantly, he's behind her, without her noticing yet, and quickly curls his fingers around the thick waistband.

Kate's face drops when she feels her underwear briefly tighten, but isn't quick enough to stop the following tug as Tommy pulls back hard and fast, rocketing her underwear up her behind rather quickly.

"Eyk! Tommy!" She screams, feeling herself effortlessly lift off the ground by her underwear, hanging two inches and kicking her small feet back and forth, trying to escape. She reaches back and holds onto her panties for support, but Tommy merely bounces her once to make her lose her grip, giving another bounce after to get another yelp.

"Don't mess with the master, Bishop. I strike back harder and faster." Tommy teases, giving two more tugs to make her let out a few more yelps and screams, stretching the panties quite a bit.

"I am so going to get you back harder, you know that, right, Shepherd?" Kate threatens, though the threat's seriousness is undercut by her yelps and screams as she holds onto the front of her underwear by the peeking leg-holes, trying to hold it down.

"Sure you will, I believe that." Tommy responds sarcastically, bouncing her slightly harder and faster, using his speed to make it more frequent and earning more yelps.

"If you don't let me go, I won't make out with you ever again." Kate threatens, which does, in fact, instantly make him stop rather quickly. Kate privately smiles at this, but this smile fades when she has to begin picking the wedgie out. As usual, she pulls the back of her leather bottoms down under her cheeks, before grabbing the legholes of her panties to pull them back down. Before she can do so, Tommy gives her a quick slap on the backside, earning one last yelp. "TOMMY!"

"Hey, you're the one getting your ass out." Tommy responds, grinning at her glare before hopping off to the next room, leaving her to tug out her pants and glare back at him. "Now, come on, we got more to search."

Kate reluctantly follows him, tugging at the back of her pants as her panties bunch up, peaking out just above in a very hard to miss manner. Gritting her teeth and letting out a growl, eventually gives up fixing the underwear, but still isn't content to leave things like this.

Heading after him, Kate stops as she looks at him; he's not paying her any attention, evidently thinking the war was over, and is walking at a human pace, his briefs still sticking out the back and bunched from his own wedgie. Cracking her fingers, Kate charges at him, lunging at him almost like a lioness attacking its prey.

Tommy hears her charge, turning back to look at her. His reaction is just a bit too slow for even him, as, while he has time to avoid being tackled, Kate manages to grab his foot as he tries to run away, tripping him up. Wasting no time (which is important not to waste in a fight with a speedster), Kate pulls herself back up and gets on his back, pinning him down.

"Come on, thought it was over!" Tommy complains, struggling to get his girlfriend off his back; despite Kate's relatively small and light frame, this proves more difficult than it should as she holds his arms down, a smirk curling on her mouth.

"Yeah, well, your wedgie was a lot worse than mine was. Fortunately, I know just what to do to settle this." Kate responds, turning around as she sat on his back, placing her hands on his waistband. A cat-like grin plasters on her face as she tugs back, leaning back herself to add more force.

"Owe! Oh, OK, payback over?" Tommy cringes, kicking a bit as she holds the briefs up, getting the underwear as high as she can; and, thanks to all her archery training, turns out to be surprisingly high. "Take that as a no."

"Well, let's see, how many times have you given me wedgies?" Kate asks, a smirk on her face, lightly teasing the material.

"A lot, almost daily since we started dating." Tommy admits, earning another pull.

"And, how many times have I gotten you back?" Kate continues, letting go with one hand as she grabs the batons on her leg.

"Considerably less; you're usually too slow or too unsubtle to get away with pranks." Tommy once more answers, squirming as he feels her thread the connected batons through the leg holes.

"So, I'm totally going to get as much out of this as I can, while I can." She informs him, gripping the baton on either side, letting his waistband go loose for a moment as she got her grip, before hoisting up, earning a scream from her boyfriend. "If you want out, feel free to say 'Kate, you're the best, please let me go', and I might let you out."

Tommy squirms as Kate pulls on the batons, twisting them around to further shrink the underwear, pulling up on the twisted garment and twisting more. With a grin on her face, she keeps pulling, getting the tightened material up to his shoulders.

"OK, gotta admit, you're better at this than I thought." Tommy mumbles, shaking around and trying to wriggle free. Kate keeps hold on, but Tommy, being one not to give in, just continues to shake either way, using his super-speed to increase the shaking, eventually succeeding in making Kate buckle off.

"Woah!" She yelps as her fingers slip and she rolls off, landing momentarily stunned, though shakes it off rather quickly and scrambles to get back to her feet.

"Oh, god, this hurts." Tommy whines, trying to sort out his underwear, finding it difficult to get the baton untwisted and free his briefs. "What the hell did you do?"

"I believe it's called a Propeller wedgie." Kate answers as Tommy slowly pulls himself back up. "And yes, I did totally search up wedgies to find ideas; its kinda pathetic, but I knew I needed something good in my arsenal if I got a chance like that."

"Well, at least we've eliminated any chance of me getting you pregnant." Tommy jokes, still cringing and standing somewhat awkwardly from his current situation.

"Sorry, hope I didn't hurt them too badly." Kate responds, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly, realizing she _might_ have done some unintended damage.

"It's OK, I heal fast. And, if you're content to let this escalation continue, I've got some ideas of my own for how to get you back." Tommy responds, giving her a grin, making Kate briefly pause.

"Wait, but I was evening the score." Kate replies, stepping back, a hand on her back to cover her waistband, and not turning an inch away from him. "You're probably still winning anyway."

"Well, I just need to make sure I'm winning." Tommy responds with a shrug, stepping forward, while Kate backs to a corner to shield her underwear.

"You know, you try reaching for the back of my pants, I will kick your ass." Kate warns, almost challenging him.

"Yeah, you probably would do that; good thing I don't need to go for the back." Tommy muses, reaching for the front of her panties as they peek out, hiking up with no remorse.

Kate lets out a small squeak, standing on her toes, crunching her face, arms outstretched in shock, before immediately reaching to the front to stop her rising panties. Tommy continues to pull, pulling her away from the wall, wrestling her away.

"See, I think you'll know this is a melvin." Tommy adds with a grin similar to the one she had a moment ago, before letting go and letting her fall forward. She breathes out, going limp for a moment and getting ready to de-wedgie her underwear from her front, until she feels Tommy gripping the back. "And if we throw in one of these, can start a squeaky-clean."

Once more, the back of the white material shoots up, the purple targets distorting as the material stretches out of shape and invades her backside. She lets out another squeak, once more on her toes as the material is pulled down from the front and back up the back. Tommy pulls hard, then lets them snap back, once more seemingly stopping it, before a green-and-silver blur zooms around to her front, and once more she's yelping at the feel of her panties attacking the front.

Back and forth, Tommy speeds to both sides, hoisting her underwear as high as he can each time from both sides, almost flossing his girlfriend with her own panties. Kate can barely stand, and for a moment the only thing holding her upright is her underwear's constant hoists, keeping her from falling down.

The pulls get more intense, stretching the underwear up to the back of her neck one moment then up to her chin the next, each time causing a yelp and scream of shock and discomfort.

Eventually, he slows down, giving her more slack and time to recover. The height decreases, allowing her to keep her feet on the ground rather than constantly lifting her off every second, until eventually he stops, letting the stretched out, bunched up fabric loose against her waist. She nearly falls over until he catches her, setting her upright.

"So, how'd that feel?" Tommy asks, a smile still on his face, as Kate slowly starts to change her expression.

"Good god, OWE! That friggin' hurt everywhere!" Kate lets out, cringing as she awkwardly reaches into the front and back of her pants, glaring at Tommy. "I'm definitely never getting pregnant now, douche!"

"Hey, had to make sure I was victorious." Tommy responds with a shrug, giving her a dorky grin and holding up his thumbs. "Sorry, but you're the one who decided to turn this one-sided playful teasing into an escalating war."

"How did you even think to do that?" Kate continues, standing back up, trying in vain to stuff her underwear back into her pants. "How did you even know what it's called?"

"Simple, you left the tab open when you went into the shower and I needed to check my emails; when your girlfriend has a window titled 'wedgie techniques', you can't blame a guy for glancing at it. At least now I know _why_ you were looking them up."

"Well, congrats Tommy, you've officially made this a war. And I assure you, I WILL make sure to get you back ten-fold." Kate mutters, looking up at him. "And don't think I'm not afraid to go Atomic; I'm willing to try out nuclear deterrence."

"Oh, believe me, I know you would; fortunately, I'm more than willing to respond in kind, go all nuclear warfare on your very fine, very soar ass." Tommy replies, resting an arm on her shoulder and grinning.

"Oh, it's definitely on. Except, not right now; my underwear's basically destroyed and we really need to get this over and done." Kate responds, smiling back at him. "We'll pick it up tonight, after a change."

"Deal; speaking of, it is a shame I ruined these, these are a really cute pair." Tommy muses, pulling the side of the stretched out panties to look at them.

"I know right? Good thing I got a few pairs just to be safe." Kate adds, holding some of the stretched out material out, before stuffing it into her pants. "Yours are pretty adorable too, though gotta say, I like my men in good-old boxers."

"Yeah, well, after this, I'm never wearing briefs again; I can live with chafing." Tommy responds as they walk into the next room, still with their arms wrapped around one-another. "You know, when we get home, I got another wedgie technique I'd love to try out; website called it 'utterly undies wedgie'."

Kate pulls a semi-flirty/semi-annoyed face at him. "You know, if you just want me in my underwear, there's plenty of _other_ stuff we can do involving that."

And so, with a wink, the two get back to work and, after awkwardly talking to the others who very clearly noticed their underwear, head home to continue their new favourite passtime, and so, the Bishop/Shepherd wedgie war of 2015 started.


	2. Not in Public!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Kate's wedgie-war continues, this time, taking it to the streets; or rather, how Tommy finds a way to make being left to the sidelines during a big crisis-crossover event actually entertaining for him.

"This feels like a waste of time, but the foods good."

Kate Bishop couldn't agree more with that statement. It was that time of the year where some new big event came that threatened the world, the universe, society as a structure, or something along those lines, and so the Avengers had called upon their extended number, gathering who they can to help in this time of need. Classic Avengers, West Coast Avengers, Young Avengers, New Avengers, All-New-All-Different Avengers, even Secret Avengers and teams and people she wasn't sure were even Avengers were called, and all were given important tasks.

For the Young Avenger team leader known as Hawkeye, her task seemed rather...insignificant. While the bigger guns were off fighting Ultrons or aliens or demons or whatever the threat was (she honestly doesn't remember what it is this time), her and her team were instructed with patrolling New York to keep the city safe while the other guys were busy. It feels almost insulting, given how far they'd come (hell, some of them were even on major teams now outside of this; sure, she wasn't, but that's beside the point), that they were stuck with the task that amounted to, essentially, babysitting New York.

Of course, most costumed criminals were already dealt with, so now, they were just waiting for a crime to happen, and this wait is boring. Right now, the raven-headed archer sat perched on the side of a wall, wearing her two-piece purple leather ensemble and archer gear, munching on some pizza and doner kebab meat that her and her friend had gotten to pass the time while they waited for something important to fall on their laps.

Next to her, Tommy Shepherd, the silver-haired Speed, sat similarly eating, though had already eaten twice as much as she had and wasn't slowing down.

"You remember that this was to share, right?" Kate reminds him, making him shrug.

"Meh, need the calories. Besides, you usually don't eat much anyway." Tommy shrugs at this, continuing his meal. Rolling her eyes, she steals another slice before it's too late, glancing at the street bellow.

To most, it would be an unusual sight; two young adults, dressed in colourful attire, sitting on a wall eating fast food together, but given this is New York, it's actually fairly normal. This seems to be a common thing for most of New York's hero population to do; the only strange thing is they're doing it so low to the ground when most would do it from the rooftops, but neither of them can fly.

"Well, we've had our lunch, ready to get back to work?" Kate muses, eating her last slice as Tommy finished the rest.

"I guess, but I wouldn't call it work." Tommy muses, stretching as he finishes the meal. "Gimme a minute, gotta let this settle before I can run."

Kate nods, taking the minute to wipe her hands and put her gloves back on, before hopping off the wall. Tommy watches her jump, noticing a thin bit of white sticking out of her leather pants, making him grin a bit as he jumped off after her.

"Wedgie!" He yells as he grabs the back of her waistband, tugging up on the purple panties and making her yelp.

"Ack, Tommy! Not in public!" Kate yelps, jumping forward, reaching back to grab her underwear while he snickers, holding it up.

"Huh Calvin Klein? Cute, pretty stretchy too." Tommy teases, letting them snap back, causing her to jump forward.

"Owe!" Kate groans, trying to stuff them back in the pants. "Why!? You know I can't fix these when I'm wearing these pants!"

"It was sticking out. Besides, you're winning this war right now, so I have to get you as much as I can." Tommy chimes, making Kate glare, but sigh. It is true, she is winning their wedgie war at the moment (Tommy evidently under-estimated her), something she's a little proud of.

"Fine, but we need to add public wedgies to the list of things off the tables. I don't like having to deal with them in front of strangers." Kate complains, looking around as a few people watch the pair.

"Awe, really? I got banning messy wedgies, but half the fun of a wedgie is doing it in front of people." Tommy claims, earning a glare. "Hey, you've done it to me before!"

"Hmm." Kate continues to glare, before sighing, trying in vain to fix her wedgie as they walked down the street. "Damn it, can you at least cover me while I fix this?"

"No problemo." He nods, before running around her rapidly, to the point it appears there's several of him, standing around Kate as she unzips the leather pants, tugs them down then re-shapes her underwear with her index fingers. Once the bikini-cut material is back in shape, she gets ready to pull the pants up, until a hand smacks her behind.

"Hey! God damn it, every god-damn time." Kate groans, zipping the pants up and rubbing her backside, glaring at him as he steadies and returns normal. Of course, such a sight did draw some attention their way, but at least no one saw her backside, so she can at least thank him for that.

"Thanks a lot." She adds, punching his shoulder. "Now, we going to get on with this patrol or what?"

"Fine, want a lift?" He offers, rubbing his hand.

"Of course; only one of us has super speed." Kate replies, holding a hand out so he could pick her up and starts running down the street, looking for anything.

After a few minutes, they stop so he can take a breather, having not found anything.

"Man, this is New York City, how can we not find any crime to fight?" Tommy muses, kneeling down as he takes deep breathes. Kate stretched as he did so, limbering up, before realizing his guard was down. Grinning as she saw an opportunity to get him back, she was about to strike before getting an idea. Looking up, the building they were next to had a balcony a few stories up, just above them. With a smirk, she pulled her glasses down over her eyes, shot a grappling hook arrow up, then before Tommy noticed, she was grabbing the back of his pants.

"Hey! Kate!"

"Wedgie!"

"G'aaah!"

Before Tommy could escape, his boxer-briefs were hoisted up and hooked onto a small mechanism that quickly pulled him up into the air. There he was, hanging by the white material, kicking bout as he ran in place, trying to escape.

"Still want public wedgies to be OK?" Kate grins, looking up at him, while a few people give them odd-though-amused looks. Taking her phone out, Kate took a quick selfie with him, making him groan before she sent the image to his brother and his brother's boyfriend, who both quickly texted back giving her applause.

"OK, I'm officially humiliated. Can I come down now?" Tommy asks, slowing his struggling down as she snickered at him, pressing a button on her bow to make the grapple release and drop him back down. Either because he was swinging, or because she didn't realize how close she was, he landed right on her, knocking her to the ground.

"Oof!" They both groan in unison, taking a second to recover while he layed on top of her. When they realized how they landed, they both blush a bit, before Tommy flashes a smile.

"Now, I'm thinking of something else that I don't think we're supposed to do in public." Tommy grins, earning a bashful glare from her.

"Oh yeah?" Kate replies, lifting her glasses up, as he leaned down to kiss her lips. Distracted, she kisses him back, until she feels his legs shift and his hands slide down her side, pressing against the exposed skin above her pants while his fingers not-so-subtly edged towards her peeking underwear. "Tommy, if you kissed me just so you could wedgie me I'm going to break your-"

"Wedgie!" He yells with glee, pulling up once more, this time standing up and pulling her to her feet with him by the sides of her underwear.

"Yeik!" Kate squeals, reaching down to grab the font of her underwear as he let them snap back, stuffing it back as he left her panties covering her belly. "Damn it, Tommy! These are new!"

"I know, I was there when you bought them. Hell, I'm pretty sure you borrowed my wallet for them." Tommy muses, while she struggles to fix her underwear. He, meanwhile, had already done so with his own, thanks to his speed, and watched in amusement as she struggled to do so without exposing herself to the public. "You know, I can take us somewhere a bit more private if you want to sort that out without strangers around."

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan." Kate grumbles, until she feels him gripping her underwear again. "Hey, not like that!"

"And....speed-wedgie!"

"GYYYAACK!"

With a sudden flash of green and purple, the two were gone, the only thing remaining being the rope of her grappling hook and the sound of her scream.

Not too far away, the two appear in a secluded part of Central Park, slowly stopping. Tommy's playful grin still present, while Kate lies limply on the ground, gritting her teeth and holding onto her very destroyed underwear, which did not survive the trip there.

"OK, OK, you have officially crippled me." Kate groans, rolling onto her back, legs crossed as she recovers. She holds up a hand, and Tommy pulls her back up, making her groan a bit once more.

"Did that cross a line?"

"No, no, I did escalate it with the grappling hook hanging wedgie, can't complain when you use your thing for a wedgie." Kate muses, unzipping her pants and pulling them down, before prying her torn underwear from her backside, looking at their destroyed remains; the waistband is no longer connected to the brief of the panty, and there's a few noticeable holes, one exposing her left cheek completely. "You destroyed these, though. Congrats, you're winning again."

"Really? Yes! Awesome! Go Speed!" Tommy dances, happy to be winning while Kate rolls her eyes at him.

"Dork." She mutters, pulling her pants up and re-zipping them.

"Given you're standing there with super-torn undies from a super wedgie, not sure you can throw that word around." Tommy retorts, slowing his dancing.

"Sure I can, it's like N-word privileges; I can say it so long as there's something dorky with me going on." Kate replies, before holding a hand out for him to pick her up. "Now, come on, I need new underwear and we're close enough to my apartment that you can get us there in a flash."

"If you insist, m'lady." He nods, scooping her up in a bridal carry and racing to her apartment, letting her change.   
  
They return to patrol shortly after, fortunately in time to stop the new Sinister Six from robbing a convenience store, proving that not every criminal was indisposed today.


	3. Love, War, and All's Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day, Kate Bishop wakes to the sound of David Bowie, the smell of breakfast, and her boyfriend being surprisingly nice. She should have known it would somehow lead to him giving her a wedgie, but she didn't expect how big he was going to go.  
> Of course, she was looking for an excuse to reignite their wedgie-war.  
> Based after World War Wedgies (http://archiveofourown.org/works/6650134)

" _♫_ _...Keep your 'lectric eye on me babe. Put your ray gun to my head..._ _♫_ "

"...waah?"

Kate Bishop blinked a few times, yawning and stretching a bit as she slowly awoke. It was about 10AM on a Sunday, a time she'd rarely be awake at, but here she was, finding herself being awoken by...a David Bowie song?

" _♫_ _...Freak out in a Moonage Daydream, Oh yeah!..._ _♫_ "

Not that this is a bad way to wake up, mind, she loved David Bowie songs and is one of the many bummed at his passing, but it's not typically how she'd be woken up. Usually it's a generic alarm sound from her phone, a knocking on her door, or a wedgie to jolt her awake, usually whenever Tommy slept over, as he did last night. Recently though, the two's wedgie war had taken a break of sorts ever since the New Years dinner at She-Hulk's place, as one can imagine it would, though she's suspected he'd strike back at any moment.

To be honest, she kinda missed it; sure, she found herself ordering far more boxes from MyUndies and she now knew the shop clerk at the closest _Van Dyne Fashions_ by name from going so much, but it was kinda fun trading wedgies with the speedster, particularly the wrestling and hours spent finding creative ways to hoist a waistband up. She actually caught herself baiting him a bit to try and get him to reignite it, kneeling down more to get stuff from the fridge, wearing looser jeans, even flashing a whale-tail or two when on a mission, but he never picked the bait, meaning she never got a chance to use the counter move she's been practicing with Carmilla.

" _♫_ _...The church of man, love, Is such a holy place to be..._ _♫_ "

Slowly climbing out of bed, she slipped off her sleepwear and reached into the nearby underwear drawer, grabbing a simple pink bra and some matching briefs with white stars printed about; slipping the underwear on before pulling on a shirt, dressing enough to walk about her apartment, she slowly left her small bedroom to investigate the source of the catchy retro music.

"Morning!" Tommy waves from the kitchen area, himself only dressed in a pair of green sweatpants, as he buzzed around, buttering some bread while also frying some eggs and bacon into an omelette, and stirring up a milkshake; it almost looked like he'd multiplied, if not for the fact one could see the green blur moving between the three spots.

"Since when do you listen to Bowie?" Kate asks, yawning and scratching her head, brushing her messy hair out of her face.

"I don't, but you do, so thought it'd be a nice thing to wake up to." Tommy replied simply, returning his attention to the breakfast he's preparing. "I also have Bon Jovi qued after and some other old stuff, and that other obscure stuff you listen to."

"OK..." Kate raises an eyebrow, looking at him with mild suspicion. He's a decent guy and all, but he's not usually this nice. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing!" Tommy replies, one of the 'Tommy speed clones' turning to look at her with its hands up passively. "I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed, but you kinda ruined that by, you know, not being in bed."

OK, out of character, but actually kinda nice. She smiles a bit, appreciating it, if still a little suspicious.

"I also filled up your car's gas, since you were running low and I can't run you everywhere." Tommy adds, flipping the frying pan up a bit and catching the omelette.

"OK, seriously, what did you do? Why are you being so...nice?" Kate questions, a somewhat amused smile on her face.

"Like I said, nothing! Just thought I'd be nice!" Tommy retorts, settling the food, before suddenly darting towards the couch, pulling Kate with him, as the song changes. "Oh, I actually like this song, so we're going to be dorks for a second."

And, before Kate can fully register, Tommy's began dancing and singing about living on a prayer while jumping on her couch, making Kate both blush and laugh as he pulls her into it.

" _...She says, "We've gotta hold on to what we've got. It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not..._ " He sings badly, nudging her to get involved.

At first hesitant, she just shrugs and goes along with it.

" _...We've got each other and that's a lot. For love we'll give it a shot!_ " She finishes, singling slightly better than him, though not dancing nearly as well

" _Whoa, we're half way there; Whoa, livin' on a prayer! Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear!"_ They sing together, Tommy holding his hand out to her, which she takes, before pulling her onto the couch. _"Whoa, livin' on a prayer!_ "

The two laugh together as they sing and dance, arms wrapped around one another to avoid falling off the couch (at least, without pulling the other with them), having a cute little moment...

Until Kate feels his hands curling around the leg holes of her underwear.

"Oh, you devious little snake..." She glares at him, realizing what he'd done; she's not even remotely mad, but she's a little surprised at how he managed to actually lower her guard so much.

"Wedgie!" He pulls up, hoisting the pinkish-purple material up between her backside, exposing her cheeks to the world. She reaches back and cringes, little out a soft little squeal as he pulls her onto her toes, before relaxing, letting her back down. Before she can start to fix it, however, she realizes he's not let go. "...1!...2!..."

With that, he pulls up again, this time holding her up for longer, and getting her off the ground, making her more audiably squeal.

"Eik! Tommy!" She lets out as he lets her back down, before sliding his hands to the side of the panties.

"...3!..." He repeats, pulling up, this time lifting higher and making her kick her legs about, holding onto him for balance. She tries to reach down to get him back, but quickly realizes he's not actually wearing underwear.

"You literal son of a witch..." She lets out as she's lowered back down then hoisted up again, once more following him saying a number.

"...4!...5-6-7-8!..." He says more rapidly, this time bouncing her each time he says a number, before letting her down again, and sliding his hands to the front.

"No, don't you-"

"...9!"

"Ahck!"

Crossing her legs, she cringes as he holds the melvin up for a few seconds, before letting her down and once more pulling the back with one hand, then the front again, and the back, squeaky-cleaning her a few times, still corresponding to him saying numbers.

"...10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15..." Ending the squeaky clean, he hoists her up once more while shouting 16, then turning and spinning, swinging her around and giving little bounces, listing off another 4 numbers. "...17, 18, 19, 20..."

He lets her back down, this time on the floor while he still stands on the couch, before giving one huge tug up.

"And...21!" He holds her up for another few seconds, elevated above, before giving a few more bounces. "One for good luck..."

"Eik!"

"...one for bad luck..."

"Yeik!"

"...and one for next year!"

"Ack!"

With a final spin, he lets her down, then pulls the pants a bit lower to de-wedge them a bit, laughing all the while. She cringes a bit, before looking up with a glare, trying not to laugh herself.

"How long have you been planning this?" She asks, squirming as she fully picked the wedgie out, making a little groan as she did so.

"A few weeks, ever since you started flashing your panties at me every time you got a beer from the fridge." He answers with a shrug, giving her a small kiss on the forehead. "Happy Birthday. I also got you a gift."

He blurs out for a second before returning to normal, nor holding a gift, with his hands now completely off of her underwear, stepping back to let her open it.

"Now, breakfast should be done, I'm just going to go to my place to grab some clothes. Be back in a minute." He flashes her a smile, giving her one more quick kiss, before disappearing, with Kate giving him a last wave.

"Frigging asshole." She mutters, not too seriously; in truth, she has to concede he got her pretty well, and is somewhat impressed at how long he was able to resist getting her again. She'll need to think of a good way to get him back. "Well, one way to reignite the war."

With that, she opens the wrapped up gift, gasping in amusement and annoyance as she looks at the gift. "Of course."

A simple pack of panties of various colours, with little targets, arrows, and other patterns of that theme.

"Thomas Shepherd, I am going to _get_ you, you handsome little prick."


End file.
